You don't have to be born mentally tough ....

Mental toughness is a key trait of successful people in many walks of life. If you really want to succeed in your goals it doesn't matter how much equipment you buy, how much natural talent you possess, how much time you spend reading books and watching videos. You need to be tough as well - mentally tough. But it isn't something you have to be born with - it can be developed, nurtured and strengthened. Our love of comfort causes many problems that are the enemy of success:

1. We expect things just to be given to us. Nobody wants to pay the price or put in the work. The fruits of life should be given to us for the simple fact that we exist or believe in something or, the classic, just because we want it. Wrong.

2. We give up the moment things get difficult and spiritualize the difficulties with phrases like "it wasn't meant to be" or "the world is against me". We're not prepared to make sacrifices to make it happen or absorb the pain.

Mental toughness is the foundation for long-term success and is a key attribute to develop if you want to meet challenging goals. It isn't about being mean or aggressive - it's about being able to absorb abuse (especially self inflicted) and handle adversity while staying focused on your goal and keeping a level head.

Deciding to take up a personal challenge - running a 5K, learning to mountain bike or completing an Ironman - is a voluntary choice that rebels against the natural desire for comfort. It let's us step outside of the comfort zone and have something on which to practice mental toughness skills that will ultimately help us in all aspects of our life - not just in our chosen, slightly crazy personal pursuit.

Here are seven ways in which you can become mentally stronger ....

1. Act as if you are in total control.

While there's no doubt that luck plays some role in most successes (or failures), successful people don't wait for luck nor do they worry about bad luck. Act as if success or failure is totally within your control - you create successes, you also cause failures. The wasting of mental energy on what might happen to you (luck) is a zero-value distraction - instead, put all your mental energy into making things happen. If luck favors you then you're doubly better off, if it does not then you're in the best position to deal with it.

2. Put aside things you have no ability to impact. Visualize.

Don't waste energy on things outside of your control. Focus efforts on activities you can control, on things that you can do. You can change yourself but you can't change everyone else. Visualization doesn't involve anything physical - you can do it any time - play out in advance all those things within your control so that you are mentally prepared for the challenge.

3. The past is valuable training, but that's all.

Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others (we've all made plenty of them). Then let the past go. It doesn't define you or what you can become. If something went wrong, think about how you will know how to make it right next time.

4. Celebrate the success of others.

Many people see success as a zero-sum game - there's only so much to go around and when someone else is being successful it's somehow diminishing the the light from their own star. Such resentment sucks up a lot of mental energy which can be used so much better elsewhere. Don't resent awesomeness - celebrate it wherever you find it. It rubs off. One person's success does not preclude nor diminish your own successes.

5. Don't whine. Don't complain. Don't criticize.

Your own words have a great deal of power over your own mental state. If something is wrong don't waste time and effort complaining - direct your energy into making it better. Do it now. Don't delay. You'll have to do it some time so now is the best time. And don't let friends whine - help them make their lives better too.

6. Focus only on impressing yourself.

No one likes you for your clothes, your bike, your car or your accomplishments. That's all just stuff. People may like all that stuff but it doesn't mean they like you (even though it might seem they do). Genuine relationships come from when you stop trying to impress others and just be yourself. It will also free up a lot of mental energy to focus on the things and people that really matter.

7. You are stronger than you think you are.

The mind will tell you that you should quit way before your true physical capabilities. Physical perceptions of tiredness and fatigue are not reflective of how far your body is capable of going. Learning to ignore the mind's desire to quit requires practice. Is the weather bad? Go running anyway. Are your legs burning and tired? Finish your ride like it's a life or death race....

Credit due to many bloggers who's material I leveraged in creating this post